Out of Date

As Richard reminded me the other day, well it was actually last month, that it is time to update my blog. Tom and I are really enjoying married life. We tied the knot in March and have been enjoying our happily ever after. I keep humming the song, "You Can't Hurry Love" by the Supremes. Marring at 39 meant meant there were many years of dating and not-dating. On my 36th birthday I emailed all my lifetime friends that I knew I would never marry. I met Tom 7 months later.

I think the biggest milestone this summer is that I am now use to / comfortable saying, my husband. It brings me great joy to say it, but the joy is bittersweet because I know one day it will be what I do naturally without thinking. The jolt of joy will be gone, replaced by the natural comfort of being a married couple.

I know married life isn't easy. This is evident by all the articles about marriages ending. I plan to keep my grandmother, Dottie's advice in mind. She said that the key to staying married is to remember that the two of you are a team. That you are in it together.

Those who don't know my amazing grandmother might think this as easy advice from someone tfrom a different genereation. To that I say, my grandmother attended college while all three of her sons were under the age of 6. She took the maximum courseload to save money. She only took classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, because my grandfather was off on Tuesday and that way he could watch the kids instead of paying a babysitter. When she gradauted, she went to work full-time. She was a school teacher, but she could write. She began writing grant proposals for the school and thus would travel for work. She also researched and published numerous books on the 5 civilized tribes of Oklahoma. Basically Dottie has a resume that most modern women and mothers would envy. She is amazing. It also helped that she and my grandfather worked on things as a team. They did divide tasks, but they always believed in helping the other for the 60+ years they were together.

So I think she can provide some good advice. The other bit of advice she gave me for staying together? If you're with anyone for a long time, there are going to be peaks and valleys. After a while a person gets sick of themselves, so it makes sense that may mat feel that way about yourself. Just remember that you are in this together. The feelings come back again you just have to be patient and have faith.

Tom and I are still newlyweds. There are certain things I do now so there are habits in place to keep us connected even in the valleys.